Monday, November 12, 2012

Precedent O'Bomber finally opens up on details of Embassy attack.

Monday, November 12, 2012

By Verne Strickland

Prominent Journalist and Savage Gossip   November 12, 2012

YES, FINALLY WE GET THE EXCLUSIVE STORY ON THAT EMBASSY MESS. REMEMBER, YOU  SAW IT FIRST RIGHT HERE. AND HERE'S WHAT YOU SAW, FROM OUR PERSONAL INTERVIEW WITH THE PRESIDENT HISSELF:

  • I can’t even spell Bengozzy. So how could I know what happened there?
  •  I do not think my pal Joe Biden, chuckles too much. We just have a lot to be happy about. 
  • I do not think Mitt Romney has a whole bunch of wives. That kind of thing only happens in places like Kenya. And maybe Chicago.
  • Michelle will not wear no expensive new dress to my inauguration. She actually will wear an expensive old dress – the one Dolly Parton wore to a previous coronation. Oh . . . was it Dolly Madison? Whatever. 
  •  I am inclusive in my beliefs, whatever that means. I think gays should be able to hit on the president. Just not on the First Lady. Not while I’m the big boy in the White House. Y’all got that?
  • I can cry too, just like John Boehner. And I do – but never in private.
  • If we had called it “Baracko” Care, we wouldn’t have had so much trouble with it. I said that to the Secretary of Agriculture. He told me, "That ain't my job."
  • I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Kowalski.
  • I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Boardwell. 
  •  I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Madam Secretary.
  • I definitely did not have no sex with that cussing preacher, Reverend Josephus Wright.
  • I did not have sexual relations with nobody. Don’t ever plan to. I am the president.
  • I did not “curtsy” to no dang Arab oil sheik. I bowed. I am the president
  • I don’t think the Harem Globtrekkers are all black. I heard one of them has a white mother. You can't ever be too careful where that kind of thing is concerned.
  • I worked hard for all Americans in my first four years. And I promise I will do that again in my next four years. That’s why I got re-elected. Voters know what I will do.
DISCLAIMER & WARNING: The preceding is all junk, all fabrication, all over. We got this tawdry bit of information and blather from an anonymous source, who refused to be quoted because he couldn't remember his name. So take your chances. Don't call me back. Just call me Verne 

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